Whenever I confront him he gets angry and says it's nothing. My head tells me to kick him out. I can't bring myself to completely end this relationship, but I can't keep feeling like this. I feel like I've said the same things over and over and I get the same response. That's the curious thing about saying the same thing over and over again. The people we're talking to usually stop listening because they've heard it all before and think we don't really mean business.
We tell partners how we feel in all sorts of ways.
Now, there are reasons for this. Sometimes it's just not safe to. Domestic abuse for instance often means that if a partner speaks out, they risk violence or further violence. Relationships where one partner is coercively controlling means that often the other person is likely to come off much worse if they speak out to their abuser.
These are very serious situations and require additional support to help whoever is being abused to be safe. From what you describe, it sounds as if your relationship has got into a pattern that really is an emotionally abusive one. You suspect something is wrong, you look for proof, you feel you find it, you confront him and then he either denies it or says it won't happen again.
You tell me that when he does actually agree he's been in touch with other women, he also tells you that it meant nothing. But, I suspect it means everything to you because he repeatedly breaks the trust that you're entitled to expect from a committed relationship. There's nothing wrong with open partnerships but to make those work, each person has to be in full agreement that they want to run things this way.
For you though, it sounds like you didn't sign up to that and are constantly on the alert, and as so often happens, ending up almost playing detective, trying to second guess every word and action. That's exhausting.
You tell me this has gone on for a long time and I wonder if this is because at some level you feel you can change your husband's behaviour. Sometimes we almost make ourselves responsible for a partner and start to believe that if only we can find the right words then they'll change. Although talking together is nearly always helpful, in this case, I think you have to decide what the long-term effects of all this are likely to be if things don't take a turn for the better.
I'm not for a moment suggesting that this is an easy thing to contemplate. Finance, children and fears of being lonely make it entirely understandable that people stay in relationships that are upsetting in one way or another.
How do you know if your partner is cheating? Usually, if you're asking this question, you already suspect that you're the victim of infidelity, or at. How to Find out if Your Husband Is Cheating. No one will argue that it is incredibly painful to consider the possibility of your husband cheating.
Sometimes it's just not possible to make the move away from something that causes emotional pain. Take note: When a man is unfaithful secrecy skyrockets, abnormal behaviour and attitude increases, plus there is an unexplained distance between the two of you. Look out for these clues if you are dying of suspicion and think your husband is cheating on you:.
Observe his sudden change in grooming habits — a new cologne, a gym obsession, a spunky hair-do or a spiffy new wardrobe. He might as well act like a teenager going on his first date. Watch out for sudden changes to his work schedule.
Is he working late every night or travelling when he did not need to before? Does he snap at you when you question him—of course—what cheating man wants you to know of his whereabouts?
He deliberately drops his voice or answers in a softer tone when taking the call. Loud warning bells should go off by now especially if your husband suddenly begins to excuse himself as he needs to talk privately. Is he spending excessive amounts of time on the computer, answering emails or replying to facebook comments that are not yours.
The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, or cell phone texts. Cheating husbands will often stop having sex with their wives or want to have more.
The latter is usually to assuage their guilt. Fights will spontaneously combust, there will be fault finding—all to justify his reason s for having an affair. Having an affair is costly! Some crafty husbands will make use of company expenses or become adept at hiding their expenses from you. So, check his wallet for unexplainable receipts or look for obvious signs like random purchases or unfamiliar scents on his body or clothes.
Trust your intuition if something is not right. Whether your husband is cheating on you or not, investigations may lead to new discoveries.
There is nothing worse than the realization or suspicion that the one person whom you trusted and loved most is cheating on you. Couples who were married for up to 10 years accounted for the largest group of divorces last year. But not all infidelity cases end up in the Divorce Courts.
Please try again, the name must be unique. They might not take you seriously, or they may lie, make excuses for him, take his side, or warn him to cover his tracks. He is a licensed private investigator with over 15 years of experience. Lying and Avoidance. My situation I don't think is different than other people in the article. As the ones that hunt down cheaters, private investigators know all of the signs that indicate someone is hiding something - or someone.
Chee says that couples can choose counselling as recourse but the success of these sessions depend on several factors:.